Heard it from a friend

"Heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another you've been messing around." "I heard it through the grapevine."  Hopefully you recognize these lyrics from REO Speedwagon and Marvin Gaye.  I also wish I was just writing this blog post about great songs.

In the past few weeks I have heard many rumors/gossiping in the hallways and have even been asked if this or that rumor was true.  I personally feel that our need to gossip is a power thing.  In this case this power is knowledge.  Knowing something that someone may not know and being able to be "the one" who knows more than someone else. But what are we really doing?

If we look at the eighth commandment and Luther's meaning, we can see we are breaking this commandment. (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.  What does this mean? We should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, nor defame our neighbor, but defend him, speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything.)

In many cases, gossiping is making untrue statements about someone.  God forbids this (Proverbs 19:5, Ephesians 4:25, James 4:11). But, what if what you heard is true, should you tell others?  NO! We are not to betray our neighbors either.  If you have an issue with someone, you need to address them yourself and alone (Matthew 18:15).

We are part of CTK as a whole.  Each person is a very important part of the whole.  None more important than the other. The school needs: Parents, Teachers, Office Staff, Other Staff, Volunteers, and most importantly Students.  We need to work together and work past the rumors we hear.  As parents, you need to work with each other also, just like teachers need to work with each other.  As parents you pick CTK because the type of education we give your child(ren).  

What to do when you hear gossiping?

There are two appropriate actions that can be taken.  1) Walk away or 2) Tell the people who are gossiping to stop.

Is "getting it off your chest" or having someone to hear you out considered gossiping?

That is a big question that has a very shady line of where too much is too much.  Sometimes, it just takes letting one other confidant know what is going on and bounce thoughts off of them.  I have mentors that I talk with about issues, to hopefully help shine some light on solutions.  At CTK we have the Principal Advisory Committee for this purpose, to help me make decisions.  The crossing of the line comes into play when spreading information, true or not, and whether it will cause harm to someone or not.