STOP: Turn Around

Maybe you have seen this picture that has been going around Social Media this late summer early fall. I don't know how many times it came across my feed. In this week's Elmore's Thursday Thoughts, you will be able to read his thoughts and how it can apply to your children and our students.

 http://growingleaders.com/blog/one-sign-every-school-needs-to-hang-up/

Tim finished the article with a list of Stop and Starts for us to follow.

It is worthy to note that this sign is posted on a Catholic High School that is for boys only.  I don't think it changes the concepts of Tim's thought, though.

When I taught third grade at our back to school night, I would always remind the parents that they will hear the "F" word.  "FORGOT."  Almost daily I would have one student tell me they forgot this or forgot that.  Parent's will come into my class saying, Johnny (made up name) forgot his homework, I will bring it up later.  I always told them, it is ok.  They can forget.  They can learn what it means to forget and not get saved.  It was tough, tougher on the parents than the kids, though.  As this article mentions they figure it out, they problem solved.  My third graders did too.  Sometimes they had to live the decision of not having what they needed, but they survived and were better for it.

The Forgot didn't just end at third grade when I was principal of a high school, we too had students forget things.  They learned to be responsible and to problem solved.

When I was reading Tim's logic behind good leadership, I was a little defensive.  I don't want to see my boys hurting or  failing.  I want to protect them all the time, maybe that is why I like being a principal, I can watch them throughout the day.  What I was really doing, though, was not thinking long term.  What will happen when I am no longer around, I can't give them a dollar for this or that at any second, or even run out to get them lunch.  There will be a day where they are no longer depending on me, and that is scary.  What is scarier is if when they do leave and they don't know how to handle it, because they are depending on my wife and me to solve their problems.  As much as I love them being around the house now, I don't think I want them to be around the house that much when they are 30,40,or even 50 (unless they are bringing grandkids over).

Let's work together Parent and School to help to give your children the resources they need so that they are prepared to take on anything, short term but also long term.  Equip them so they know they are capable of being the adult we want them to become.

Change our Focus!

Since last week I shared with you a Tim Elmore Post, I thought why not make this a regular thing.  So this week I want to share this article from Tim that we must change our focus to be better parents, but also better Teachers.  As mentioned in the last post, Mrs. Konkel uses a lot of Tim's stuff.  Mrs. Konkel shared this article with us during one of our staff devotions.

http://growingleaders.com/blog/five-destructive-parenting-habits-must-replace/

Tim talks about 5 habits that we must change to make "all the difference in the world" for the students/children.  Tim starts out with a funny realization of parenthood.  "First child eats dirt. Parent calls the doctor immediately.  The second child eats dirt. Parent cleans out his mouth.  The third child eats dirt. Parents wonder if they really need to feed him lunch.  As a parent myself, I find this to be awkwardly true between my oldest and my youngest.

I will let you read the article itself, as Tim does a great job defining each habit and how to change it and an example of each.  What resonates with school the most is probably the 2nd and 3rd habit. In reality, they are all good and applicable.

The second habit Tim discusses is changing from a focus on grades to a focus on growth.  I could not agree more as an educator.  Although as a father, I don't always remember this.  This is why at CTK we have invested in the NWEA tests.  By taking it in the Fall and Spring we are able to see the growth of the students.  Although scores are important and Tim talks about that, but we ask the question did the student grow and with NWEA it tells us about how much the child is expected to grow.  If they don't meet that goal, then we can ask why.  That "why question" is very important in my opinion.  Tim mentions when we focus on that one bad grade compared to the 10 good grades, we can create undo stress upon our student/child.

The third habit is replacing our clutter schedules with simplicity.  I am guilty of this myself, we want our children to be involved in a lot, and be good at everything.  Tim talks about the importance that maybe we need to focus on one event at a time.  This isn't just for children, though, I can relate this to myself even.  I often find that I feel that I am burning my own candle from both ends.  I hate saying no to people when they are in need or need help or someone to take care of items.  This can be very overwhelming even for myself.  I look at my schedule for today, Wake up early, be at school by 7am. School to 3.  Drive to a soccer game.  Find or make dinner.  Make sure my sons' homework is completed. Do my doctoral school homework.  Go for a walk or run.  I am sure there will be two or three other things I will have to do that I am not even thinking about at this time.  I could be better at cutting things out of my life.

I am interested though through these posts to get feedback and having conversations.  Please feel free to post comments and respond to other comments.  We are here to grow together.

The Power of Failure

I have been bad about keeping this up-to-date, and I apologize for that. Rather it is videos of myself speaking, sharing links (as I will be today), or writing my own articles, I will do a better job for you. Since I failed at this, I thought it would be good to share an article about the Power of Failure, and ironically it appeared today in my Memories on Facebook that I shared this same article a few years ago.

  http://growingleaders.com/blog/failure-can-kids-best-friend/

First, this article comes from Tim Elmore.  Tim Elmore is one of my mentors.  He writes a lot about how to train up leaders and how to be a better leader and parent.  Tim is a Christian man that runs his own non-profit.  I have personally heard Tim speak many times in the past and lucky enough that all the teachers get to hear him this October during our Professional Development days. Mrs. Konkel uses Tim's books,  "Habitudes" for development building in the middle school.

Moving on to the article itself.  Tim challenges to let our kids take risks and even fail now so that they may not fail later.  He uses the illustration that letting a child ride their bike around a busy street as a child, will help them to learn and respect the road and cars so when they are behind the wheel they understand better.  He goes on to share the story of Bill Gates and how he failed at school and eventually dropped out of College.

In conclusion, to make it personal, as an athlete, I often learn more about myself and the sport when I fail or lose.  Two of my favorite wrestlers (not WWE, but actual wrestling) are Dan Gable and Cael Sanderson.  Although generations divide these two, there are very similar in their dominance in the sport.  They both even went to the same University, Iowa State.  Dan Gable since an early age was a successful wrestler, in fact, heading into his last match of his college career he was undefeated, never lost.  He failed to win his last College match.  Did that deter him, of course, he was upset, but he didn't let it stop him.  He went on to the Olympic games in Munich winning Gold while not giving up a single point.  Something that is remarkable.  Cael found a little more success than Dan in his wrestling days as he was undefeated including every college match.  When it came to international matches, he wasn't as successful and failed to make the Olympic team in 2000.  He didn't let that stop him as he went on to win the Gold in 2004 in Athens.  Both Dan and Cael moved onto coaching and both have multi-NCAA championships as a coach.

Don't be afraid to let your child fail a little.  When they do, talk about it and talk about why and how they could be better prepared for the next time they have a similar task. May God bless your day!